Standing on my Soap Box

Opinions expressed in this blog are my own and do not reflect anyone else’s opinion. It also may not be an opinion that reflects most of the people in this area, and it may not be popular. This is my own opinion based on my own experiences.

I follow a lady on Facebook named Sarah McDugal, and one morning I read (and shared) a post from her called “Fixed it for you”. I will not be sharing the original post that she fixed because what was there was hurtful to women. At first, I was going to say that it hurt divorced women, but I realize as I am typing this that it is hurtful to all women.

The fixed post states “Mature Proverbs 31 women don’t need men. They can support themselves. Need is a powerful glue that keeps women trapped in abuse. College and careers make partners equal. Thus, women should be educated so they can be married in safety, and not out of desperation.” I am so thankful that I was in a situation when I was 40 where I needed to go back to school and get an education so that I could earn enough to support my family.

The same woman who wrote the unfixed version of what Sarah fixed above stated on twitter a few days ago that women are not to quarrel nor be contentious but have a meek and quiet spirits while living in submission to our spouses. (WHAT?? – Oh, heck no!). I didn’t know how to argue properly with ex-husband. I was told that I was “attacking him” when I tried to state my opinion.

So here are some of my new unpopular opinions:

1. Ladies, have an opinion. Feel free to share it. If it is different than someone else’s, that’s ok.
2. Stand up for your children! PLEASE stand up for them. It is ok for you to choose their side if they are correct. I didn’t always choose my children’s side. I didn’t always protect them when I should have (regret will forever live with me – Yes, I know how to forgive myself, but my children live with the consequences of not being put first.).
3. Words hurt. A bruise, a broken bone, a cut, they all hurt, however they heal. Words cut deep and they can be permanent. Sometimes years later you will hear those words on repeat, or they may come up when you are triggered by an event (some call this PTSD).

While I have written this to the ladies. I am not naive enough to think that this only happens to women. I understand that men can be involved in abusive relationships as well.

Regardless of your gender, if you find yourself in a situation where you are not treated as you should be, please google help for victims of abuse. And lastly, know that I believe you. I know that it is hard to reach out and admit that things are not as you think they should be, but there is hope at the end of the proverbial tunnel.