Village News

New phrases help us think of what is happening in the world right now. Like ‘friend recession’ to describe how many of our social villages are shrinking. Several recent studies have shown that our sense of belonging, and friendships are decreasing. So, just as a recession is something felt by many, it may help to know that if you feel alone – you are not alone.

Some of the reasons for this recession include the fluidity of our villages today. Most of us don’t work on the family farm or have one career in one place. Families are smaller and still we don’t stay as close with each other. And as inflation goes up, some of us work longer hours which means friend and family time goes down. We are trying on our own to survive, to get ahead. Could it be that this individualism is taking us off track? Would we be better off if we had a village ethos like generations of Indigenous people, Mennonites and other traditional cultures had? There is a time and place where diversity makes us strong, but a village of generational relationships also makes us strong. We should all feel accepted wherever we go, but there are only a few places where we can truly feel like we belong. And when we find that, we find life.

Other reasons our social muscles have atrophied include a global pandemic and excessive time spent indoors and online. So, now it is time for another phrase that will hopefully help those of us how need to come back to the village square – ‘social fitness’. Just as we need to work at keeping physically fit, we need to be intentional to keep socially fit. Gone are the days when our stable village would naturally keep us in its fold.

The following are five great ways to get socially fit that Claudia Canavan and Gemma Askham wrote recently for UK’s Women’s Health magazine:

Think like a kid

The key to childhood friendships? Repeated interactions and shared vulnerability. Try the formula and diarise a repeat date (say, an outdoor swim at 10am every Sunday), where you lower your guard.

Don’t expect instant BFFs

Research suggests it takes 34 hours of time together for an acquaintance to elevate to a friend. It’s a concept called ‘mere exposure’ – meaning you’re more likely to make a close friend at a weekly running club than at a wedding.

Stories breed closeness

It sounds a bit Gwyneth, but scientists monitored MRI scans of storytellers and those listening, finding that brains unconsciously couple during storytelling. So you’re not just sharing airtime, but an entire bonding experience.

Go online to get offline

Screen time gets a bad rap, but it’s possible to swipe your way to a healthier IRL connection. Try Peanut, which connects women by proximity and life stage, Atleto to find an exercise buddy or old faves such as Bumble BFF and Friender.

Reap small-talk rewards

So many studies show the mental health wins of micro-chats. One study by the University of Chicago found that when strangers began conversations in traditionally awkward places – waiting rooms, taxis, trains – the recipient not only enjoyed the chat, but they also enjoyed the wait more.

Just a reminder that you already have a great village to be a part of at Mennonite Heritage Village (see our winter events below). Volunteering here is a great way to fulfill the tips above. Hope to see you this winter!