Chaplain's Corner

I’ve been thinking about needs lately.  Specifically, I have been thinking about whose needs drive my work.  On the surface it might seem pretty straight forward, but if you look just below the surface of this matter, things get pretty murky.

I would like to be able to say that my work is always driven by the needs of the people I serve.  But if I would make such a declaration, I would be a liar.  The truth is that there are many competing needs that seem to be regularly pulling on me motivating me to move in this direction or that direction, towards this person or away from that one.

Let me see if I can even identify the major parties whose needs pull on my time and work. Oh, by the way, I don’t think I am unusual in any way, you may very well relate to these as well.  It is just that when examining a concern, it is always safer to look at one’s self.

Let’s see, there are the obvious parties:  Myself – in every situation I need to take a quick look and ask the question, “Am I acting to meet my own needs in this situation?”  There are also in my work situation the Patients and Residents of Bethesda Hospital and Place.  They obviously have needs and as I look at my job description, they are to be the primary persons that motivate me to action. Their spiritual needs are my concern.
 
OK, are there others who have needs that pull at me as I work?  How about the other staff in the facility?  I am sometimes asked to do things that seem to be more about their needs than about the needs of the patients or residents.  Oh, I shouldn’t forget members of the members of the patient’s and resident’s families.  Then there are people in the community who have needs related to my work and I at times get calls asking me to do this or that, and as I listen the motivation is clearly the need of the caller.

Oh, then I mustn’t forget the needs of the Regional Health Authority.  It has its own needs and at times its needs become my needs and I act based on the needs of the organization I work for.

Wow!  Talking about competition.  Each time I act, most of the time without even thinking about it, I am motivated by someone’s needs.  Most of the time it may not be all that important that I get in touch with whose needs are calling me into action.  But there are times when I am acutely aware of this.
 
Like the other day when I was at the hospital and I approached the room of one of our palliative patients.  I hadn’t been in for a few days so I decided I should stop in and see how things are going.  But as I approached the door, I could feel my inner brakes being applied.  I was very conscious of not wanting to go into that room.  As I asked myself why, I was instantly able to discern my hesitance.  You see, this patient is struggling, and in the struggle the patient finds it hard to talk, and often during our visits there are very long silences.  These are quite unnerving to me sometimes and put me in touch with feelings of inadequacy.
 
So what did I do?  Some days, in all honesty, I walk on by, but that day I went in, and spent some time.  It was very quiet, the patient left the TV on as we visited and when we approached issues that were hard, concentration went almost completely to the TV and then, the patient completely shut me out.  That’s OK, I can only imagine how hard this process is for the patient and the patient continues to say yes to my invitations to visit, so we move forward, slowly.  But many days I must choose to put the patient’s needs above my own.

Or I must always try to maintain an awareness of my own motivation because if I let my own needs drive my life, I will do a very poor job as a chaplain.  Not long ago there was a patient in the hospital that was very congenial and enjoyed visiting.  We instantly established rapport and I found it easy to stop by for regular visits.  But one day I stopped as I approached the room and thought, who am I not serving because I enjoy this person’s visits so much.  The fact was there were others that I wasn’t giving the kind of attention that I thought was needed because I had been allowing my need (the enjoyment of the encounter) to direct my decisions as to who to care for that day.

Now, I raise this issue because as we mature spiritually, we need to accept greater and greater responsibility to monitor our own activities asking the question, “Whose needs am I serving here?”  This is a sizable task which we may or may not bee engaging as we go about the work of our lives.  But it is an important task.  Why?  Because when I let my needs direct my life, I am living selfishly.  Even if I am serving another, if I do it to meet my own need, it is a self-centered act.

I know for a fact that many people go into helping professions because it meets a need in their own life.  Now the fact is that it may be nearly impossible to ever act with singularity of motive.  When I act in love towards another person, must there never be a hint of such an act swerving some purpose in my own life?  I have thought much about this and I don’t know how that can be.
 
Altruism is defined as the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others.  The Greek word, agape, which is used often in the New Testament Scriptures in reference to selfless love.  The Bible calls us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil. 2:3-4)  Yet altruism and this agape kind of love that the New Testament encourages are tough to pull off.  I don’t know about you, but in my heart there always seems to be a mixture of motives.

So I have been thinking lately about my life and work and about what it is that drives me.  I have become somewhat comfortable with the mixture of motives that seems to be constantly swirling about in my heart.  I continue to want to be other centered but am aware that there always seems to be a hint of my own stuff attached to just about everything I do.
 
The best I have been able to pull off at this point in my life is a growing awareness to my motives.  This is progress, I think, for as I become aware, I am able to identify whenever the other or myself is being served.  Sometimes, well to be honest, most of the time, my motives are quite mixed, part serving the other and part serving some need in my own life.  I’m not satisfied with that, I would like to be able to rid my soul of self-interest completely, but to this point, God’s good work in me and my halting willingness to yield to that work have produced a mixture of motives.

Gratefully, God is not discouraged by my lack of progress, for he knows that progress is being made, slowly, but progress is being made.  So, if you encounter me as I work and you get the sneaking suspicion that I may not be totally selfless in what I do, you are probably right.  Please be patient with me and if you have the courage, call me on it, for when others begin to address these weaknesses in my character, I find it moves me forward. God bless and be attentive to your motives.