Chaplain's Corner

Mary Lou hasn’t been feeling well for a few months.  She has made numerous trips to the doctor complaining of gastrointestinal problems that eventually led to an abdominal CT scan being ordered.  After what seemed like an eternity (when you are waiting for diagnostic tests time seems to go so slow), the date for the CT scan came.  A week later Mary Lou went to the Doctors office to get the results of the test.
 
When Mary Lou came into the office she knew right away that something was wrong.  You know the look on the other person’s face when they know bad news and are responsible to tell you.  Mary Lou’s doctor is a gifted, compassionate physician and he was very gentle, but very pointed and clear.  “Mary Lou’” he said, “the CT shows that you have a mass in your colon.  I have ordered another test to confirm my suspicions, but I believe we are looking at colon cancer.”

He went on to talk about colon cancer and the fact that because the tumor wasn’t too big and that there was a good chance that with surgery and follow-up chemotherapy things should be OK.  But frankly, after the words, “…I believe we are looking at colon cancer,” she didn’t hear a word he said.  She was in shock.  No one in her family had ever had cancer.  She had always been good about watching her diet.  She thought she had developed a very healthy lifestyle.  “What did I do to deserve this?” was the question that spun in her mind.

It’s sure good that the Doctor wrote the time and date for the test on a piece of paper for her because she didn’t remember anything besides those words, “…I believe we are looking at colon cancer.”  She sat in her car in the parking lot for the longest time then finally drove home.  She doesn’t remember driving home and that scared her, but when she finally walked into the house, she burst into tears; hot, bitter, angry tears, the kind that one cries when one feels a great injustice has been committed and there is nothing at all that can be done about it.

Mary Lou called no one.  She busied herself with the laundry, some gardening, a trip to the local grocery store to pick up a few things she needed for the weekend and preparing supper.  But the whole time she was pondering the question, “How am I going to get through this?”

Her kids were teenagers and had their friends and sports and were testing the waters of adolescent.  Her husband, Greg was a great guy.  They had been married 20 years, had worked hard at developing a satisfying relationship, but Greg wasn’t very good when it came to supporting her emotionally.  It just wasn’t something he had ever learned to do; he wasn’t even very comfortable with his own emotions.  As she thought of all this the question resounded, “How am I going to get through this?”

Her Mom and Dad were good folks, but they just retired and they were busy traveling, spending their winters in San Antonio, Texas and enjoying the freedom that working all those years just didn’t afford them.  She would feel just awful if her Mom and Dad thought they would have to give up their travels to be close during this ordeal.  But there was nothing she wanted more than to ask them to do just that.  It seemed that emotionally she was being torn, conflicted, battered by all the implications of what this statement “…I believe we are looking at colon cancer,” implied.

Mary Lou had a few minutes before the kids got home and an hour or so before Greg got home from work so she sat down at the computer and emailed her best friend.  It’s too bad Jane didn’t live in Steinbach.  Jane knew what she was going through.  She had had breast cancer 7 years ago and finally passed her five year check up and everything looked good.  She started her email, “Jane, I am so sorry I wasn’t more support seven years ago when you were diagnosed with breast cancer.  It wasn’t till this morning that I think I understand something of what you must have felt.  Today my doctor told me he’s pretty sure I have colon cancer.  Call me.  Mary Lou”.

Jane called the next day; she had been out of town and didn’t get home till late the night before.  They had a long talk, lots of tears, lots of love, promises to get through this together.  Mary Lou still hadn’t told anyone but Jane.  She had decided to wait till the next test confirmed the doctor’s suspicions.  It was three weeks; Jane and Mary Lou emailed or talked on the phone every day.  Jane had gotten busy and visited the chemo clinic where she had received her treatments to talk to the nurses about her friend’s situation.  The social worker in that clinic told Jane that there was a brand new, on-line support group, facilitated by trained counselors who worked in the field of supporting people with cancer and that she should encourage her friend Mary Lou to check it out.

The next day in her email to Mary Lou Jane wrote, “Mary Lou, you just have to check out Cancer Chat Canada.  I have taken a look and it is a brand new site for people just like you.  You can communicate with others who are in the same situation, there are trained counselors that you can communicate with and you can feel supported and give support to others.

Mary Lou googled “Cancer Chat Canada” and found the website.  She read, “CancerChatCanada offers counselor-led online group support using a real-time chat format.  These online support groups are available to all Canadian adults who have been diagnosed with cancer and their families or loved ones and are free of charge no matter where they live.  Weekly sessions are 1.5 hours long and take place in “real time”. The groups operate continuously throughout the year for 8 – 10 weeks at a time.  If you are interested, please contact us toll-free at 1-800-663-3333 extension 4955 or 4966, or by email CancerChatCanada” at cancerchatcanada@bccancer.bc.ca

Mary Lou investigated the site, called the 1-800 number and talked to one of the staff and two weeks late when a scope confirmed the diagnosis and her journey with cancer was confirmed, Cancer Chat Canada helped her each step of the way.  The live time chat groups connected her with others who were walking her journey.  There was a chance for Greg to get support in one of the Family Support groups and later, when she was able to look back at the experience she though, “How would I have ever done that with out CancerChatCanada, Jane and the wonderful staff at the local Cancer Care Clinic.

Maybe you would benefit like Mary Lou did from the support of the people and programs at Cancer Chat Canada.  If you are dealing with cancer, if you have a family member dealing with cancer or you are supporting a friend who is dealing with cancer, you just may find the kind of help you are looking for at CancerChatCanada.

Blessings as always! Larry