Chaplain's Corner

Happy Thanksgiving! Oops, wrong country! You know I have been in Canada since May of 1978, 33 years. I have actually lived in Canada longer than I lived in the United States where I was born, yet, to be honest, I still can not get used to the October date for Thanksgiving that is celebrated in Canada. To me, Thanksgiving is still the 4th Thursday of November. So, if you will indulge me this Americanism, I’d like to ponder thanksgiving here at the end of November this year.

As a child I remember all the preparations for Thanksgiving at school. I have recollections of making construction paper turkeys, year, after year, after year. I always wondered why we couldn’t do something different. I remember in school we would always talk about the first American Thanksgiving, at least the legend of the settlers at Plymouth Rock  sitting down with the Indians (political correctness hadn’t yet arrived in those days) sharing a meal together to thank God for providing for them through their first year in their new home.

Of course there was the four day weekend and it was always a time when families traveled, sometimes great distances to be together. In our family Gram and Pap, my maternal grandparents, were almost always a part of our Thanksgiving Day. We would either drive to Lakemont, Pennsylvania to their house, or they would travel to wherever it was we lived (we moved a lot) and we would enjoy the time together. In our tradition we didn’t have a church service on Thanksgiving Day, although the Sunday following was always a Thanksgiving service at the church.

During that service the pastor would always choose a Scripture text about being thankful and the sermon would usually be crafted to demonstrate our natural tendency to be ungrateful and some form of encouragement to commit ourselves to be more grateful in the days ahead. If ever we needed a sermon like that, maybe we do as 2011 draws to a close in just a few weeks. Over the years, and especially since I have been engaged in the work of spiritual care in health care settings, I have often observed a strange contrast. I am sure the contrast exists outside of health care, but this is the context in which I have observed it most clearly.

As I move from person to person each day, it is not unusual for me to listen to either expressions of gratitude for the hospital, staff and care that is being received or expressions of dissatisfaction and complaint about the hospital, staff and care that is being received. Most interesting is that the gratitude and complaints come in relation to the same facility, the same staff, and the same care; so why such divergent responses?

I believe it has to do with the spirit of the recipient. We have all met folks who simply have a grateful spirit. These folks are grateful nearly all the time. They are grateful for the smallest gesture of care or assistance that they receive. They are grateful for the simplest and pleasures and the most basic of needs that are met. These are delightful people to be with, around or to serve.

But we have also all met people that have a complaining spirit. These folks are miserable, nothing ever suits them, they are never happy with anything that they receive or any service that is rendered. They seem to believe that everyone is out to make their lives a constant misery and nothing ever suits them. These are the folks we would like to run from.

Why the difference? Well it is not wealth or material well being. In my experience many times the most grateful are the poorest and the greatest complainers are the ones that have the most. So if it isn’t the degree of material well-being that generates gratitude, what is it?

I believe it is faith in the Lord. In my experience, the most trusting souls are generally the most grateful souls. When I was a boy, my Dad planted a church in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania. He left a job as a regional claims adjuster for the Home Insurance Company and struck out in faith to start a Conservative Baptist Church in this southern Pennsylvania community of 7,000 people. In that community two sisters began to attend the church. One was a spinster and the other a widow. The spinster was very comfortable; she lived in a big two-story house at the edge of town. The house had a big yard full of beautiful trees and the house was sort of like a museum. Miss Hershey was a rather cantankerous old gal and not very grateful, even though she had so much. I was regularly dispatched to Miss Hershey’s place to help her with some task that needed a strong young man, but I can’t say I ever really enjoyed being with her.

On the other hand, her sister, Mrs. Lacey, lived in a modest home in another part of town; it had a small yard and was comfortable but by no means extravagant. Yet I would often drop in to visit Mrs. Lacey because she was so nice. She was happy and thankful and generous with gratitude when you did the smallest thing for her.

Miss Hershey had an austere kind of faith whereas her sister Mrs. Lacey possessed a joyful faith. I wonder if the children in our lives would see us more like a Miss Hershey or more like a Mrs. Lacey? For myself, I want to be a “Mrs. Lacey” type person, full of joy and grateful for whatever the Lord has provided. I want to have a gratitude that spills over the edges of my life onto the people I live with and work with. I want to be a person that is satisfied with the goodness of the Lord, however that goodness may be expressed at any given moment.

Of course, for you, thanksgiving is now a distant memory, 7 weeks in the past and by now crowded out by thoughts of the Christmas season that is soon to be upon us. But maybe today would be a fine day to ask ourselves the question. Is my faith in the Lord producing in me a grateful spirit? If not, why not do some serious reflection on the question, “Why is gratitude such a difficult thing for me?”

As you reflect on this question some other questions may be helpful:  Do I think God has treated me unfairly? Do I believe that I deserve better than I get in life generally? Do I believe that the blessings in my life are gifts from God or do I believe they are the result of my own blood sweat and tears? Do I compare myself to others and always feel as if I am getting a raw deal?

Or do I believe God cares for me and will meet my needs if I trust in him? Do I believe that everything I have is a gift from God and that these gifts should be acknowledged with gratitude?  Do I see the suffering in my life as a gift God gives me to assist me in getting in touch with how deeply I need Him?

May these reflections lead us all into a life of deeper gratitude? Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts.