Contentment – now there is a word you don’t hear much. When I was a kid I remember commercials for Carnation Condensed Milk. The slogan was “Carnation Condensed Milk, the milk from contented cows”. I guess the company was trying to convince us that if the cows were contented, they gave better milk. The dictionary defines contented as being “satisfied with things as they are.” Maybe the reason we don’t hear the word much anymore is that we have increasingly become a culture that is never satisfied with the way things are.
Cell phones are a perfect example of the increasing discontentment in our culture. A new model is in development before the newest model is launched. Have you been amazed, as I am, at the willingness of people to sit on the cold sidewalk, outside an Apple Store, in order to be one of the first to get their hands on the newest I-Phone? I see this as one of many symptoms of the deep discontentment in our culture. This inability or unwillingness to strive for contentment goes much deeper than our lust for the newest technology. It has become pervasive.
We see it in our children who will in just a month be receiving many Christmas gifts. Have you ever watched younger children at Christmas? They open their gifts and in the moment there is an intense happiness. My youngest son used to literally shake with excitement on Christmas morning as he opened his presents. But within a week, sometimes in less time, the luster of those new toys has worn off and they sit in a closet or toy box discarded by a growing discontent and parents begin to hear the furtive cries of longing from their children, “Mommy, I want…” But it is not just children. It is teens and young adults and middle aged adults, even elderly adults, never satisfied, always longing for something else, hoping that it might satisfy.
Of course if contentment caught on it could be disastrous for our economy. Political leaders and economists deride contentment as a state that could very easily cause economic ruin for a capitalistic nation. Can you image what might happen if a significant part of a population found contentment? The sale of goods in stores would slump, car dealers would not be able to move their inventory, manufacturing would slow, people would get laid off, unemployment numbers would grow, people would cry for a change in government to address the problems – well, you get the picture.
But, I doubt seriously that we need to worry about that simply because historically so few people pursue a disposition of contentment that when some do it doesn’t create the civil chaos that we could imagine. So I guess it is best just to dismiss this notion of contentment as a goal and stay the course of rabid consumerism. Well, I’m not inclined to settle the question quite so easily.
Epicurus, a Greek philosopher who lived between 341 and 270 BC once said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” My, we so often do that don’t we? Our discontentment with what we have and compulsion for something more often causes us to treat what we have, both relationally and materially as worthless.
Hundreds of years before Epicurus pondered this aspect of the human condition a Jewish philosopher was cogitating on the same thing. He was a man who had opportunities that few of us have. He was a king, had an entire nation at his disposal, he could do whatever he wanted and have whatever he wanted. He was in a position to satisfy his every whim and he attempted. At the end of the rather lengthy experiment he wrote a book called Ecclesiastes and in it he chronicled everything he did trying to find contentment.
He was a remarkable man in many respects. He was world renown for his wisdom and intelligence, so much so that people would travel from far and wide to seek his advice. He was marvelously wealthy, engaged in phenomenal projects and was successful in everything he decided to do. He was even what you might in our day call an incredible “playboy” rivaling the likes of Hugh Heffner in his sexual appetites and exploits (he had 300 wives and 700 mistresses). As king, he had the power to do whatever he decided to do. But towards the end of his life he was miserably discontent. He looked back over all he did, all he possessed and all the power he wielded and he concluded – It is all worthless – miserably worthless.
A thousand or so years later another fellow named Paul, wrote about his experience in these words, “Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty” (Philippians 4:11-2 – The Message). It wasn’t that this fellow Paul had such a trouble free life, quite the opposite. He was a Christian missionary who had experienced quite a bit of persecution. In one of his writings he shares what he had been through: throne in jail frequently, five times he received 39 lashes with a whip on his back, he was beaten with rods, was ship wrecked and spent a day and night clinging to debris in the open sea, went with out sleep, without food, suffered from exposure and much more. Yet on the far side of all this trouble, while under arrest once again he writes, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances.”
Can you even imagine being able to honestly say that? I’m not sure I can. I seem to slip into a state of discontent quite easily. If I’m not feeling very good, if I have too many lousy nights rest in a row, if I feel taken advantage of or misunderstood: it really doesn’t take much. Wisdom over thousands of years teaches us that contentment is a state to strive for, it is a condition to pursue, but it is not easily found. It can be a bit like that “elusive butterfly of love” that Glenn Campbell used to sing about – something we long for and at the moment we think we have it within our grasp, then it is gone.
Many of those who write about contentment allude to the fact that we can not find it on our won, we need some help. Finding contentment requires divine assistance. In my own quest for contentment I have learned this. I just have the hardest time maintaining perspective. I live so immediately and contentment comes only when we can live with a bigger perspective, a perspective that helps us understand that the momentary discomfort really is nothing in the real scheme of things.
I don’t know about you, but one of my goals in life is to learn the secret of contentment; to get to the point in my life where I can honestly say, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little.” I’ve had much more than I ever dreamed I would have and it didn’t bring me happiness. I have also suffered much more deeply than I ever wanted to suffer and it didn’t destroy me: I long to learn that I can be content regardless of the circumstance. What about you?
Chaplain's Corner was written by Bethesda Place now retired chaplain Larry Hirst. The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely that of the writer and do not represent the views or opinions of people, institutions or organizations that the writer may have been associated with professionally.