Edgework

(A guest editorial by Gareth Brandt – sent in response to my last posting, “When Boxes Implode.”)

There is a building that wants to take over my community and the world! That building is the Seven Oaks Mall [or if you have “mall envy” pick any mall near you, it will do just as well]. I believe that this building is the so-called “abomination of desolation” referred to in the Old Testament book of Daniel [9:27, 11:31, 12:11] and then quoted by Jesus in the New Testament. In the past people have speculated about the identity of the abomination: Was it Roman conquerors in the temple in 70 AD? Is it the Islamic mosque built on the holy hill in Jerusalem? Is it the graven image that the Ant-Christ will set up in the temple in Jerusalem during the last days? End your speculation! I have found the identity of the abomination of desolation; it is the mall.

I’ve always had this eerie chill go up my spine whenever I drive by the mall and see the bright colorful signs, hundreds of cars in the parking lot and people streaming in like there’s no tomorrow. It’s like there’s something evil and sinister going on inside this sprawling building; like they’re going inside to worship at some forbidden altar; like they might not ever come out alive. Some people say they feel this way when they drive by a Sikh or Buddhist temple but I feel it when I drive by the mall. The mall is a house of false material worship.

I actually had to go inside the mall once when my son won a prize in the Science Fair and they made him display his project in the mall of all places! (The irony is that his project was on the environmental effects of constructing roads and buildings.)  I was sure it was some kind of sinister plot to try and get unsuspecting parents like myself into the “abomination” just so they could steal our money! I dashed in just long enough to see him collect his prize from the naturalist society, all the while hearing evil voices inside my head, “shop, shop, shop, you’ll feel much better when you shop, shop, shop.” I tried not to look
around; just being there made me shudder with revulsion.

Good theology should not be based on mere feelings and personal experiences. It should come from solid empirical and biblical research. People might scoff and say, “This is only your personal experience. I’ve had many trips to the mall and the people inside are perfectly normal and they are selling perfectly legitimate wares in perfectly legitimate ways.” Hear me out; it may save your life.

All biblical terms must be interpreted in their proper context and so also the identification of the “abomination of desolation” must come from interpreting the term in its proper context. From the context in Daniel it is clear that the “abomination that causes desolation” refers to a building that sets itself up as an alternative worship space to the temple, the dwelling place of God. Is this is not exactly what the mall does?! It’s now open on Sunday. It is the place where people go to pay their ultimate allegiance [i.e. drop most of their money] and it is there that they fellowship with like-minded believers in the food court.

The term itself also holds a key to its identification. An “abomination” is something that is “disgusting, intensely hated or loathed” an “ill omen” according to Webster’s Dictionary. The outward appearance of a mall does not seem so bad but the Evil One lurks around every corner store in the mall seducing innocent people into making life-destroying purchases. Once a person goes inside it gets a hold on you and involuntarily you are drawn into its evil clutches, compelled to return again and again even though you hate yourself for all the money you leave there when all you get in return is an empty feeling.

“Desolation” is the action of leaving something in ruins as in a barren wasteland. This is exactly what a mall does to the environment, to your pocketbook and to your soul. Earth, grass, flowers and trees are ruined by concrete and pavement; your wallet is left barren and empty; your soul is the same. It all fits; it all makes sense! Why haven’t we seen this before?! People all over North America rushing headlong to the mall only to be devoured and consumed by this arch enemy of The Most High.

A building such as this is none other than the abomination of desolation; more dangerous than a despot; more luring than a brothel; more captivating than a cult!” Buyers beware.

[Authors note: This is intended to be a piece of humorous satire and my methods of biblical interpretation may be suspect but I think the article still speaks the truth.]

Gareth Brandt teaches theology and spirituality at Columbia Bible College and lives in Abbotsford with his wife Cyndy and their four children. They have many favorite activities, but going to the mall is not one of them.