Chaplain's Corner

Have you ever stopped to consider what a gift memory is? A few years ago I had the privilege of serving a gentleman who had experienced a severe head injury. Although the injury impacted him in many ways the most difficult was the loss of much of his memory. Every day I confront the ravages of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. I sit with people and talk and see the distress on their faces when I ask them a simple question and they are unable to remember. My work as a chaplain has resulted in my appreciating the gift of memory.

Like all gifts, memory is a mixed blessing. Memory allows us to access some of the most remarkable moments of our lives; moments of ecstasy, love, and absolute awe – the kind of moments that took our breath away. But the gift likewise allows us to access moments of intense pain, disappointment and heart wrenching agony.

Memory allows us to re-experience life, to put the events of our lives into some kind of perspective, to make sense out of what we have experienced. It allows us to come to terms with difficult experiences and to relive the blissful ones. Memory is a marvelous gift but like all gifts we are given the responsibility to use it.

It is funny how a smell or sight or objects can stir memories. I have an old watch, it was my Pap’s, he received it upon his retirement from a job he worked for 40 years. When my Gramma gave it to me, it didn’t even work. I don’t wear it; I can’t stand anything on my wrist. But even though it resides in a safety deposit box at the bank, the watch conjures up a lot of good memories of Pap.

Memories like the first time I threaded a slimy little worm on a fishing hook as Pap taught me to fish. The memory of the smell of freshly mown grass after it was cut in his yard. Memories of his 1956 two tone blue Buick that I thought was the neatest car I’d ever seen when I was six years old. Memories of hanging my hand over the side of his boat and feeling the cool water splash on my arm as his 5 horse power Evenrude pushed us across the lake near where he lived. It’s amazing that an old wrist watch can stir so many wonderful memories.

Of course objects, smells and sounds can also revive painful memories. The cords of certain hymns can take us right back to the funeral of a loved one. The smell of certain aftershave can bring back memories of an abuser we wish we could forget. There are objects that are quite valuable that we have given away because there are bitter memories connected with them.

But that’s the way it is with most gifts, they have both a precious and at the same time a painful capacity. Memory is one such gift. God created us with the capacity to remember and most of the time it is a remarkable blessing. But there are times when we wish we could forget. Times we would do anything to expunge the experience from our minds forever.

Use the gift of memory for there is no guaranteed how long we may possess it. The day may come when we will want to remember and find that no matter how hard we try, access is denied. There are no guarantees; it may be that the day will come that nothing will stir our memory. We may by virtue of accident or disease, lose the gift and remember things no more. So revel in the gift, indulge in it, embrace it with gusto and receive its blessing.