Standing on my Soap Box

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It’s not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

The above are the words of a song from Laura Story called Blessings. While I did not go through all the lyrics of the song, there are a few that have made an impact on me recently.

My life has made a drastic change beginning of last February, when I lost my job. I was there for 5.5 years, and I figured I was going to retire from there. I was given a severance and my pension. I did not understand what was going on. However…

Shortly after that, my dad went for surgery to remove blood from behind his eye after a blood vessel broke, and he lost his eye sight in one eye. That was all fixed up, sight was returned, and now he can certainly see a lot better. I was able to drive him to the doctors, the hospital, and then to pick him up the next day.

Then he lost the ability to walk, lost his ability to use his left arm, as well as other bodily functions. We ended up having an ambulance come pick him up to take him to the hospital as we could not get him off the floor unassisted. We found out that he needed Cervical Decompression and Fusion surgery. There was a 50/50 chance he was not getting out of the hospital alive, however if he did not have surgery he would soon need people to feed him, as the issue was progressing quickly. As you can see in my previous post What a Day, he made it through surgery, and is now on the road to recovery. We are hoping he will be home in a few weeks. (YAY!)

Throughout all of this My mom needed help. She could not drive to the city, park her car, walk from the parking lot to the hospital and then have enough energy to walk to my dad’s room. I was her chauffeur for the two weeks that dad was in Health Sciences hospital in Winnipeg.

Why do I tell you all this. GOD IS FAITHFUL!  Had I been at work, I would not have been able do all the things my parents needed. I am an only child. My parents need someone, it is me, and I am so thankful that God knew the beginning from the end even before anything happened. Am I happy that I lost my job? NO, I liked my job. Have I had bad days when I look at my employment situation (or lack thereof) and think “what the heck?”- You bet! I have questioned God and his sovereignty, and the fairness of the whole situation? Absolutely. Do I get mad; want to blow off steam, yell and scream?  Yep!

Through this whole experience though, I have seen God at work! I know that he is faithful; I have been applying to a lot of different places and going to interviews. I have been either too experienced or do not have enough experience. I know that he has everything in his hand, and when the time is right, I will be employed again. My parents don’t need me like they did anymore for appointments, so hopefully that day will come soon. In the meantime – I wait because sometimes “Blessings come through raindrops, and healing comes through tears.”