Chaplain's Corner

Yesterday services were held in Canada and the United States and in various locations is Europe to commemorate the lives of members of the armed forces that were lost in the wars past. Many families were hardly touched by the wars. Mine is one such family; as far as I have been able to discover I only had one great-great uncle who served in the 1st World War.

Yet other families are touched deeply because not just one, but many members of the family were called into military service and great loss was experienced. I am familiar with one such family. Military service goes way back with many members of the family serving. The family suffered great loss. Some members never returned from the battle lines, others came home, but they were never the same. Life did not “just go on” for them or their families.

In many long term care facilities, residents live out the end of their lives holding the “secrets” of their military service. By “secrets” I mean information that is too horrendous to repeat, experiences too traumatic to retell, and times and experiences that if possible they would erase from their memories.

The clarion call of Remembrance Day, “Lest We Forget” is exactly what many who served their countries wish they could do. My father-in-law served in the 2nd World War. He couldn’t forget. When he was still alive he’d tell his stories of wartime experiences to anyone who would listen. Whenever I had the opportunity, I listened. At the time I didn’t understand why he spoke so often of such horrible events. I have only since learned more about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When my father-in-law came home they called it “shell shock”. The first few years he was home he was treated repeatedly at the closest VA Hospital with shock treatments in an attempt to erase from his mind the memories that haunted him. The treatments didn’t work.

Sometimes, those of us too young to have seen or remember the ravages of the two world wars, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, or Afghanistan want those who experienced them first hand to tell their stories. But we must be very careful probing into these matters. Long after the physical wounds of war have been treated, the psychological and spiritual wounds remain open and raw. War is as much a spiritual assault as it is physical assault. Decent, well reared citizens were drafted, trained in warfare and sent to far off battle lines to kill and maim other human beings for no other reason than they have been designated “the enemy”. Everything they were taught as children and young people: to be kind, to respect others, to be fair they are expected to suspend and to replace with antithetical attitudes: be brutal, show no mercy, kill or be killed.

Then they are expected to come home and throw the switch and go back to being kind and respectful and fair and all those things we value in our families and society. Many can’t do it. They want to, they would give almost anything to, but they can’t. So they try to cope. They often reach out for help, but little is provided. Often they turn to alcohol or drugs to get some relief from theinner wounds they have suffered, but this only compounds the problems.

I guess the point I want to make is that as important as it is that we not forget the sacrifices made by so many for the freedoms we enjoy and take for granted almost every day, many who made those sacrifices continue to live with the soul wounds received in the service to their country. Pray for our veterans, don’t make light of the struggles they face and try to understand that they may want to forget.