Standing on my Soap Box

As you have seen in my blog posts this past year, it has been a tough year for me and my family! I lost my job; my dad lost his ability to walk, and needed surgery that could have taken his life; my son is going to become a new dad even though he’s 19 and wasn’t married. We lost a family member a month ago to cancer – this is the 4th uncle in 8 years that has passed away from cancer.

Some days, you just want to scream and say “Let me off this merry go round, I have had enough!” Sometimes when you are in the end of a year, you look forward in anticipation to the new year, I however have a tendency to WANT to say “what’s next”…

But, I won’t!

As I look forward to the coming year, I HAVE to look forward in faith. Faith that no matter what happens, God is in control. I think of the song from Matthew West that states – GRACE WINS. By faith that is what I am holding on to.

A few things that I can look forward to – my grandson is a few weeks away from birth (or sooner – you never know!). I look forward to my running this year; the races I am going to run, and not come first in, and I am good with that. I can look forward to knowing that I am going to encourage others through my running, because if I can do it with 100 lbs extra on my 5’2 frame, so can you. I look forward to life with my husband, my boys, my daughter in love, my grandson, my parents, and my extended family. I look forward to it because I know that as a family, we support each other throughout everything that happens, the good and bad. I know that something is going to happen this coming year that won’t be pleasant, but I also know that Grace Wins EVERYTIME. I have faith that everything happens for a reason. So with that I will leave you with the words of Matthew West’s song Grace Wins.

In my weakest moment I see you, shaking your head in disgrace
I can read the disappointment written all over your face

Here come those whispers in my ear saying, “who do you think you are?”
Looks like you’re on your own from here cause grace could never reach that far

But in the shadow of that shame beat down by all the blame
I hear You call my name saying it’s not over and my heart starts to beat so loud now
Drowning out the doubt I’m down, but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace and they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof grace wins every time
No more lying down in death’s defeat now I’m rising up in victory
Singing, hallelujah grace wins every time

Words can’t describe the way it feels when mercy floods a thirsty soul
The broke inside begins to heal and grace returns what guilty stole

And in the shadow of that shame beat down by all the blame
I hear You call my name saying it’s not over and my heart starts to beat so loud now
Drowning out the doubt I’m down, but I’m not out

There’s a war between guilt and grace and they’re fighting for a sacred space
But I’m living proof grace wins every time
No more lying down in death’s defeat now I’m rising up in victory – Singing, hallelujah

Grace wins every time
For the prodigal son – Grace wins
For the woman at the well – Grace wins
For the blind man and the beggar – Grace wins
For always and forever – Grace wins
For the lost out on the streets – Grace wins
For the worst part of you and me – Grace wins
For the thief on the cross – Grace wins
For a world that is lost

Yeah, I’m living proof, Grace wins every time.

Quick Update: Hunter James Kolesar entered the world December 27, weight 7 lbs 4 ounces and is 20 inches long. He is loved dearly by his family!