Chaplain's Corner

The question of suffering is a difficult one. Most of our energy is spent trying to end suffering as if it were a vermin that needed to be eradicated. But we haven’t been very successful despite our valiant efforts.

Theologians have written books on the issue of suffering, governments have made sweeping promises to eradicate suffering, agencies pop up all the time whose mission is to deal with this or that or some other specific kind of suffering. The health care system I work in wages war against suffering continuously.

Yet as a race we suffer on. We often focus on the negatives of suffering; but are there any positives? Does suffering serve any purpose whatsoever that has the potential to enrich our lives, to make us stronger, more compassionate, people? Sure it does. Sit back and think with me for a few moments about the blessing of suffering. After all, Jesus did speak to this very matter in the preamble of his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3-12).

One of the benefits of suffering is a deeper understanding and compassion for other sufferers. People who have not suffered greatly are unable to care deeply for others who are suffering. Their attempts sound hollow; their efforts feel more like insults and many times are terribly misguided. But when a fellow sufferer comes up alongside us and we know from their spirit and their manner that they get it, that they understand, that this “territory” is familiar ground; we are comforted by their presence and care.

Another benefit of suffering is that it teaches us, sometimes over a long haul, that what we formerly expected of life was quite unrealistic. Suffering has a way of pulling our heads out of the clouds and grounding us in the reality of life. There is great benefit to living with a clear eyed view of what is. How much of the disappointment in our life can be attributed to our wishful thinking? Interestingly, those who knew little but suffering in their formative years can have as much trouble with times of ease as those who knew little suffering in their formative years have with experiences that cause suffering.

Walking among fellow sufferers can also give us insight into the different ways people manage life’s suffering. There are times that we imagine that there is just one “right way” to manage suffering. Interestingly, it is often the way we manage suffering that we esteem to be “right”. We can be so egocentric without even realizing it can’t we? This perspective results in our approaching other sufferers with arrogance and judgment: neither of which convey any comfort. Our management of life’s suffering grows out of the extremely complex experiences we each move through in life. A better approach is forbearance, the quality that chooses to withhold judgment and instead respect the other and seek to understand.

Suffering also holds the potential of helping us develop character. This only happens if we chose to persevere through the suffering, but if we do, things develop in our character that otherwise would never happen if we didn’t have the suffering in the first place and chose to persevere through it.

Suffering is a part of life here on earth, it is unavoidable. We can fight it and hate it and complain about it and resist it and develop strategies that seek to anesthetize us to it; but this set of choices only makes us miserable and usually compounds the suffering. The other alternative is to embrace our suffering, to wrap our hearts and minds around it, accepting it as an inevitable and ultimately blessed part of life. If we make this choice we will develop a deeper sensitivity and compassion for others and develop good character in the process. A pretty appealing alternative, isn’t it?