Chaplain's Corner

It happens often, a life changing announcement comes out of the blue that changes the trajectory of our life completely. A gentleman I have known was recently admitted to the Emergency Department. His reason for coming was serious, but no one dreamed it would be life altering. Within a few days he was given the news that he had terminal cancer and no treatment would be useful to slow it. This kind of news is like a kick in the stomach, it takes a few days to come to grips with it.

We have probably all received this kind of news at one time or another. It seems to happen when everything is going along well, then some force greater than ourselves intervenes. It could be a 3000 pound automobile that t-bones our vehicle on the way to the grocery store, or a tiny little blood clot that gets stuck in your brain resulting in a stroke. It could be the result of a gland in our body that quits working or a wicked winter storm that strands us far from shelter. The real wonder isn’t that these things happen, but that they don’t happen more often.

At the lunch table at work the other day we were talking about some of the troublesome drivers we have encountered in our daily commutes: People texting while driving, others nodding off, the speed demons that weave in and out of traffic or even the older driver whose eyesight isn’t quite what it used to be. I have often credited the guardian angels that the Lord appoints to watch over his own for the miraculous near misses that I have encountered.

One thing that has amazes me time and time again is the capacity some folks have to rebound from these life changing announcements or events. The gentleman I spoke of was back to himself in a matter of days. He had come to grips with the fact that it would be cancer that would end his life and not some other illness or incident and he set his sights on living as fully as possible until death caught up to him.

Others seem to be flattened by these events. After receiving the news they seem to get stuck, unable to come to terms with the reality. I wish I could say that the difference is easily discovered. It is not. Some people are optimistic by nature others are pessimistic. Some are resilient by nature and others lack the ability to “bounce back”. Some have been changed forever by earlier trauma in their life, trauma that actually reorganized the way they perceive life. Others experience similar or seemingly worse events of loss or danger and respond as if it was no big deal.

I believe faith in God’s love and care plays a significant role in how we respond to those “kick in the stomach” events of life. But faith in God’s love and care does not result in every believer responding to these same events the same. So question God’s love, others accept whatever comes as His good will. God works with who we are. He enables us to find grace to embrace the new realities of life in a way as unique as each of us is. I have learned in caring for others in these times that the expectation is not that we will all receive His grace that results in the same response, but that the grace we need is offered to who we are and in every case is sufficient to carry us through these times and into the new realities that lie ahead. It isn’t God who wishes we were different, God accepts us as we are and gives his grace to meet our needs. His love is that personal!