Af-flu-en-za: 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling resulting from trying to buy all the latest stuff and keep up with the Joneses. 2. An unsustainable addiction to consumption and economic growth without regard for the consequences to our families, communities or the environment.
Complete this simple test to find out. (Diagnose yourself using the key below.)
- I’m willing to pay more for a t-shirt if it has a cool corporate logo on it. (Yes/No)
- I believe that if I buy the cocktail dress, the party will come. (Yes/No)
- I have a substantial shoe collection. (Yes/No)
- When I’m cold, I take my clothes off and turn up the heat. (Yes/No)
- I’m willing to work 40 years at a job I hate so I can buy lots of stuff. (Yes/No)
- When I’m feeling blue, I like to go shopping and treat myself. (Yes/No)
- I want a sports utility vehicle, although I rarely drive in conditions that warrant one. (Yes/No)
- I usually make just the minimum payment on my credit cards. (Yes/No)
- I believe that whoever dies with the most toys wins. (Yes/No)
- Most of the things my friends/family and I enjoy doing together are free. (Yes/No)
- I don’t measure my self-worth (or that of others) by what I or they own. (Yes/No)
- I know how to pinch a dollar until it screams. (Yes/No)
- I worry about the effects of advertising on children. (Yes/No)
- To get to work, I carpool, ride my bike or walk. (Yes/No)
- I’d rather be shopping right now. (Yes/No)
For questions 1-9 and 15, give yourself 2 points for Yes and 1 point for No. For questions 10-14, give yourself 0 points for Yes and 2 points for No.
10-15 Points – No dangerous signs of Affluenza at this time. Nevertheless you should participate in South Eastman Transition events to help build immunity.
16-22 Points – Warning: You have mild Affluenza. It is important that you participate in South Eastman Transition events to help prevent a full-blown case.
23-30 Points – Cut up your credit cards and call a doctor! It is essential that you participate in South Eastman Transition events.