Standing on my Soap Box

So, all around social media the middle of this past month was a campaign to bring awareness as to just how prevalent sexual assault really is. As you know from a previous post I did a few years ago, I am well able to say #METOO. I was a victim in my early to mid teens. The statistics on sexual assault are staggering one in four girls and one in seven boys have been a victim of sexual assault. I believe the only reason that the number on the male side isn’t higher, is because males don’t like to talk about being a victim.

I think that we are well past the time of “burying things under the carpet”, and we need to talk about the “elephant in the room”. We can no longer pretend that Steinbach/Southeastern Manitoba is free from people wishing harm to our families. I can tell you, that is not the case, and while I am a transplant to the area, I can almost guarantee that it has happened long before I got here. Satan runs around like a thief trying to steal all that he can, and the family is the first place of attack. His plan is to destroy our kids anyway that he can, and take away their innocence. As parents, it is our responsibility to take care of our children. I figure it is time we talk about what we can do.

I am not suggesting by any means that we should be locking our children up, wrapping them in bubble wrap and shield them from everything in the world. I attended public schools in the mid 80’s, and remember a guy in front of me arranging to sell marijuana to the guy behind me. As a parent, I chose to send my kids to public school, knowing this is what I went through. I want our kids to be able to live in the world, and not be scared of everything around them.

There is a cycle that an abuser normally goes through, and not necessarily always in this order:

Step one usually for an abuser, is to search out someone who is vulnerable. I was 14 and the summer previously I had lost my brother in a car accident. I was looking for a “replacement” big brother, and I was hurting from my loss

Step two, an abuser will pay special attention to them, “spoil” them, buy things for them that they wouldn’t otherwise receive.

Step three starts with the funny put downs that progress the not so funny, making them feel like they are not worthy of anyone, only the abuser because no one else would be interested in them as they are such damaged goods.

Step four would be good touch. Hand on the knee, or a pat on the head.

Step five would be the not so great touch, which usually leads and the victim to immense SHAME.

How do we know if someone has been abused? First sign is when they tell us that someone has touched them. Are you open enough for your children to be able to come to you? Or do you often brush them off? Other signs could be a child that showers excessively, is often way over tired, withdrawn, or other personality traits that have changed.

What can you do if you notice anything different with your child? Listen to them! Support them! Report their aggressor before their aggressor does it again. I know that there could be fear in reporting someone, but you may just be saving someone else from pain… and you can offer love and believe to your child.