Standing on my Soap Box

Years ago, I was bullied mercilessly until I got into grade 10. I was told that I could lease my head out to Esso and they would make a killing on the oil in my hair. I was told that I was the Goodyear Blimp – (I had a Goodyear jacket. – sad thing is I was only 130 lbs). I was told that my first “boyfriend” was dared to “go out” with me for 6 months, however he could only “last” 3 months. I was told that I didn’t dress well. I didn’t do my makeup right. I didn’t do, well you name it, I didn’t do it right.

When I got into Grade 10 – everything seemed to change. I had a friend who started dating someone. Her boyfriend became my friend, and all his friends joined my friends, and there were lots of males hanging around. Which started new rumors for the first bit of grade 10, however that died down quickly. And all teasing stopped. I’m not sure if it was maturity on my part or maybe maturity on theirs. Either way it stopped.

Some of those words spoken years ago STILL try to hold onto me. Sometimes words can bring back memories of past taunts. Sometimes there are new taunts meant in jest, but you hear them often enough you wonder how much truth there is to be meant in them. Some speak “truth”; however, they may not be said in an encouraging way.

The title of this blog is Who do YOU say you are? Regardless of what others say, clear the way, and take a deep breath. I have an assignment for you:

Sit down somewhere quiet and write. Write everything you know and think about yourself. I mean the good, the bad, and the ugly! EVERYTHING. Back in school they used to call this free flow writing. I am not talking 5 minutes, I am talking 15 – 20 minutes. Not a writer – fine – write anyways. Better at typing – go ahead and type it, just make sure that you can print it. For those of you who are drinkers, feel free to have a drink before you start. Loosen up everything you can.

Once you have exhausted every thought in your brain about you, take a clean sheet of paper, and after reviewing everything from your free flow writing, I want you to copy out all the positive comments, ans scratch them off. With the bad, is there things that you can work on? Write those on another sheet if paper. What you should have left is bad and ugly as the good has been transferred to another sheet.

Are you still with me? Now, I want you to take your original free-flow writing paper, go to the back yard or a park or someplace special to you, and I want you to BURN IT! Get rid of all the negativity. Those bad/ugly thoughts have now blown away as ashes from a flame. Those negative thoughts come straight from the pit of hell, and they no longer have a hold on you. What you should have left is a nice clean list of the positive things about you. You can now read this list of positive attributes of you daily or before you go do something scary as a reminder of who you are.

With this exercise, I hope you see yourself in a different light. This is the new “who you say you are” Old lists have flown away as ashes and no longer have a hold on you. Be ready to become who you say you are.