Chaplain's Corner

Back on April 21st we had an English professor from Bethel University in the St. Paul Minnesota filling our pulpit. His sermon was titled the “The ignored virtue: Kindness”. He was using the list of virtues found in Galatians 5:22-23 that develop in a person’s life when a person allows God to call the shots in one’s life. Now what struck me in this sermon wasn’t his charismatic speaking style, he was an English professor, need I say more. No, what struck me was his kindness. It wasn’t a sermon about kindness; it was a demonstration of kindness. His manner was kind, his references to others were kind, his gestures and intonation were kind, and it was a remarkable thing to witness.

In his sermon he said some thing like, “I have grown tired of politicians lusting for power, academics and their arrogance, power mongers who only seek to control, those whose primary goal is success at any cost and I have even become tired of the overly religious. I have not found any of these groups to be kind. As I grow older what I long for, what I am drawn to is kindness.” He went on to share, as only an English professor might, that the etymology of the word “kind” is the English word “kin” – to be of the same kind, nature, race, – with the feeling of relatives for each other. So, kindness is all about treating everybody as if they were family.

Of course some of you may read this and think, “I sure don’t want everyone to treat me like family especially the way my family treats me.” I understand that some of our family experiences are anything but kind. Family has gotten pretty beat up as time has passed, it seems that more and more often we hear of abuse of every kind, and it saddens our hearts. I suppose we should expect this to be the case for the Bible tells us that in the latter days this is how things will be (2 Timothy 3:1-4). But somewhere in the DNA of our race, there is this expectation that people who are family should treat each other with kindness.

So where does this “kindness” come from? Are we, like the old English professor that spoke in my church, tired of politicians lusting for power, academics and their arrogance, power mongers who only seek to control, those whose primary goal is success at any cost and have we even become tired of the overly religious? Have we come to the point in life where we simply long to be treated with a little kindness? I have.

But the place to start if we want a kinder world is with ourselves. It is foolish to expect something of others that we ourselves are unwilling to give. The Bible has a primal principle that is laid down from Genesis to Revelation, that principle is that a person “reaps what is sown”. So if what I “sow” into the lives of others is not kindness, what I can expect to “reap” will not be kindness. If I don’t give a rip about anyone else, it shouldn’t surprise me that no one gives a rip about me.

Paul the apostle in his definition of love, a definition that is referred to at just about every Christian wedding and that has been borrowed by many who don’t lay claim to the Faith says that love is among many other things – kind. So if we are thinking about wanting a kinder world, I guess we need to start with asking ourselves, “Am I a loving person?” Now there are many definitions of love. It is probably one of the most ambiguous words in the English language. I use the word to describe my affection for ice cream, or a good movie, and I use the same word to describe my commitment to my wife, my children and grand children and then I also use the word love to describe my relationship to my God.

So when the Bible says love is kind. What does it mean? Well, when the Bible speaks of love, it uses a number of different words, unlike the English language; the languages of the Bible had a number of words for love depending on what was being referred to. Interestingly one of the words is very much akin to the roots meaning of kindness. One of the words used in the New Testament for love is the idea “brotherly affection.” The word is philos and we are not unfamiliar with it because it is used as a part of the name of the city Philadelphia (the city of brotherly love). As selfish and uncaring as we can often be, it is amazing that at times like the most recent Boston Marathon bombing that many responding with kindness. They treated total strangers, injured, shocked, traumatized by this even as if they were family.

But in that Pauline passage where love is described as “kind” the word used is agape, which is the kind of love that puts the interest of another above one’s own. When we are kind we relate to others in a way that puts their needs, concerns and interests above our own. It is to act selflessly.

Kindness is best practiced in the small things of life. In making your wife a cup of coffee without her asking, shoveling the neighbor’s driveway when you know they are laid up – no thanks required, or allowing the car in front of you into the lane when you see the blinker on instead of not allowing them in. Kindness is opening the door, greeting others with a smile, anticipating another’s needs and acting to meet them. Kindness is asking, “How may I help you” even when it isn’t your “job” to do so. Kindness is carrying ourselves into our world in such a way as to brighten another’s day, even without a word.

Kindness is living each day asking yourself the question, “How can I serve others today.” Kindness is voluntary servanthood. Interestingly those of us who claim to embrace the Christian faith are called by God to serve others willingly, voluntarily, joyously. This is not beneath any of us. It is not beneath the president of a corporation, or the pensioner who is just scraping by. A few years back I came to a crossroad in my life. I was unhappy, and felt drug around by the needs and expectations of everyone around me. I resented caring for others even though it was part of my job as a pastor.

I decided one day that I would change my attitude. Instead of feeling like I “had” to serve others because it was a duty; I decided to willing serve others, I decided to practice kindness, and even to people that were grouchy and miserable. You know that decision made all the difference in the world. I wasn’t miserable anymore, I didn’t resent caring for others and others seemed to be more genuinely touched by the care I gave willingly as opposed to the care I gave out of duty. You see, kindness is good for everyone. It is the best was to serve another, it leads to deeper personal satisfaction and joy, and it is a bit contagious. Others notice the willingness of the kindness we offer and they may do the same.

It’s a bit like the “pay it forward” movement. Lesley Ciarula Taylor, Staff Reporter for the STAR, in an article published on Monday,  Dec 31 2012 reported “for three full hours and 228 orders, a generous chain of Tim Hortons customers in Winnipeg picked up the tab for the people behind them. ‘It was an avalanche of kindness,’ coffee chain spokeswoman Michelle Robichaud told the Star on Monday.” A great story, but wouldn’t it be even greater if folks just made a decision to willingly serve others, every day, in lots of small ways. Wouldn’t it be nice if it weren’t an exceptional happening at a coffee shop, but the day to day reality of our lives? You may say, “That will never happen.” But you and I can choose to willingly become the servants of others – to find joy in showing kindness and if we do, I promise you will never regret it.