Chaplain's Corner

In a recent article printed in the Winnipeg Free Press, Arlene Adamson expressed her concern over the “rampant” ageism in Canada. Ageism is discriminating against a person because of their age. If you are an “older person” you have probably experienced this, even though it is not legal to do so. We all know that laws can not prevent discrimination, for laws can not correct the ignorance and prejudice that lies at the root of all discrimination.

Ms. Adamson’s concerns are legitimate and should concern us all because as she said towards the end of her article, “Ageism is an extremely interesting and unique method of discrimination. As opposed to racism or sexism, ageism is something most people will be at risk of at some point in their lives. Most people, with luck and healthy living, will get old. So, eventually they will morph into the very people they discriminated against.”

Yes, short of a life ending accident or a disease that ends our life while we are young, we will all get old. Perhaps the Golden Rule needs to be thought about in terms of how we treat older people? Do you treat the older people in your community, in your life the way that you would like to be treated?

If we mumble under our breath about that older driver who isn’t as quick off the light when we are in a hurry – we are guilty of ageism. If we have the opportunity to hire an employee and we chose the 19 year old woman with good looking legs over the mature woman with years of experience who could do as good or better job – we are guilty of ageism. If we change lines in the grocery store because the older gentleman in front of us looks like he may not move very fast, we are guilty of ageism. Or when we are frustrate on the golf course because the foursome in front of us are all gentlemen in their 70’s we are guilty of ageism. When we treat another person differently simply because they are old, we are guilty of ageism. We get the picture

If these were the worst expressions of ageism, we might even excuse the discrimination, but they are just the tip of the iceberg. Do you believe that older people are a burden on society? Did you know that “63 percent of Canadians over the age of sixty-six believe they are treated unfairly because of their age”? Did you know that “79 percent of Canadians agree that seniors over the age of seventy-five are seen as less important than others in society”? Ms. Adamson’s article provided these statistics to verify the problem ageism is in our country.

On April 2nd, 2013 CBC Radio aired an episode of “Ideas” titled “The Longevity Puzzle”. In this episode of “Ideas” psychologist and author Susan Pinker, demographer, Michel Poulain and physician Giovanni Pes, investigated a group of quiet mountain villages in Sardinia, Italy, where a remarkable number of people are living into their hundreds. Although their study was not conclusive, after examining the realities in these small communities they surmised that the reason this region has so many people living to be over 100 years of age may be two fold: first most of the people in these villages work well into their eighties and second, when they get to the point where they can not work, the family insures that they are never left alone, these older people are doted over, treated like extremely valued members of the family and community.

Canadian culture reflects unfortunately the growing attitude in most Western cultures that aging is to be resisted with all ones might, with all one’s money no matter what the cost. We are a culture afraid of growing old, as if growing old was a disease like cancer. We value the young, the rich and the beautiful and as we slip from or never achieve these categories, our culture places less and less value on our lives and we feel less and less important. This is why respect for elders has almost evaporated in our culture.

When I was a boy, I was taught the importance of respecting my elders. This included addressing anybody over 20 as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss. It meant asking permission to speak when I was among adults. It meant deferring to someone older, giving up my seat to anyone older and treating those older with the utmost of respect. If my Dad would have ever caught me calling my mom “the old lady”, well, the implications of that were such that I wouldn’t dare. As I became an adult, those early lessons didn’t fall by the wayside. I still can’t sit when an older person or a woman comes into the room and there are no more chairs – it just isn’t respectful.

This is the missing ingredient, the ingredient that is common to all discrimination – respect. When we respect another person, it doesn’t matter where they come from, what their gender or age, we treat them with dignity. This is the root issue when it comes to the ageism. We simply have lost respect for older adults and what a shame. With this loss of respect we lose sight of the lives that they lived. We lose sight of the hardships they endured and the valuable life lessons they have to teach us.

My maternal grandfather, I called him Pap, was one of my favorite people in the world. Pap died at age 89 a week before I was schedule to pay him a visit. That was hard. Anyway, Pap had to quit school after the third grade to work in a coal mine in the mountains of Pennsylvania during the Great Depression. He was so proud of his grandchildren, many of whom went on to finish their bachelors degrees, masters degrees and one even a doctorate. But I can still remember Pap saying to me once, “Knucklehead (that’s what he called me and I loved it), I may have never gotten very far in school, but I have a PhD from the University of Hard Knocks.” He was a wise man, intelligent beyond degrees, with far more life experience than anyone who might have looked down on him. He was noble, faithful, and under his rugged exterior there was a heart of gold.

Now I know that not every older person is beloved like I love my Pap, but even the more salty members of the ranks of our elders are every bit as valuable as the young, up and coming executive, well on his or her way to making the first million. Why, because you don’t grow old without accruing a wealth of experience that no amount of money could buy. Even if the experience makes an older person a bit difficult. I have learned that if I give these “difficult” ones half a chance, they will teach me lessons for which I would be poorer if I didn’t learn them.

Thank you, Arlene Adamson for speaking to this growing and disturbing trend in our nation. Contrary to the conventional wisdom of the 40 somethings and younger of our nation, older people are a national treasure. If you haven’t spent any time with older folks lately, why not volunteer at a local nursing home or adopt an older couple in the neighborhood and grow a relationship. I promise you, no matter what you think you may have to offer an older person, if you open your heart they will have just as much or more to offer you!