Chaplain's Corner

(The names and identities of those I write about have been changed to protect their privacy.)

I had just begun a visit with a Zach, a patient in the hospital when he blurted out “I just can’t imagine having to live this way.” It was my first visit, I wasn’t aware of the issues that brought him to the hospital and so I asked if he could help me understand what he was feeling.

As the story unfolded Zach told me that he had been scheduled for a colonoscopy and that they had found colon cancer. The surgery needed to remove the cancer would require that he have a colostomy. The surgeon described what they needed to do and that his large bowl would need to be rerouted. The surgeon then explained that he would eliminate his waste through an opening in his abdominal wall into a bag that he would learn to empty when needed each day.

Zach was 37 years old, he was an athlete, he spent time at the gym 5 days a week. Zach was big into water sports: water skiing, wake boarding, and swimming. This news floored him. As he expressed his anguish, he saw the news as radically altering his life, so much so that he wasn’t sure he would consent to have the surgery he needed. Maybe he would just leave the cancer and live out the rest of his days a “whole person”.

The discussion was intense, Zach’s emotions were all over the place, he needed perspective, more information, and he needed to meet someone who was living with a colostomy and enjoying a rich, full and active life. I wasn’t able to relate but I had a friend who could. Paul was a seminarian who had done a practicum with me during his seminary days. All the young nurses would ask me if he was “available”. He was good looking, fit, athletic and he had a colostomy, but no one even knew he had a colostomy.

As a chaplain, I often encounter people at these junctures in life where they are given information that they are not prepared for and don’t know how to process. Part of what I do is hear the despair, confusion and anguish and begin to help the patient make the connections that can provide context, information and lived experience to begin to process this news that has be delivered by the doctor.

Zach had the opportunity to connect with Paul. He began to understand that his life “as he knew it” didn’t have to end just because he had a colostomy. He consented to the surgery, struggled but finally succeeded in managing the task of changing his bags and with Paul’s help, he found the courage and understanding to reengage life. Today, you would never know Zach lived with a colostomy, and when he looks back on those difficult days, he is grateful that he had Paul to help him.

Maybe you have had a colostomy and are struggling with the adjustment or maybe you are right in the middle of things and are being told this may be a necessity. You don’t have to go through this alone. Recently I have been in contact with Tracy from the website innergood.ca. This is a website that deals exclusively with the challenges related to living with a colostomy. On the site there are blogs related to living with a colostomy. Real people write about their experiences and share their insights. The site is full of helpful information from product information to problem solving. If you or a loved one live with a colostomy and need some support why not check out the site or contact Tracy at tracey@localonlymedia.com. I’m sure that the information you find there or from Tracey would be helpful if like Zach you live with a colostomy.